I know I'm not spending nearly as much time in meditation as I should. The excuse I give to myself is "I would meditate more if I had solitude and quiet." I live in a four room apartment and It's never quiet. If the weather would warm up I could go to the woods or park to meditate. The nearest temple is an hours drive and if not for financial reasons I would be there everyday to meditate (or when they'd let me, lol).
I'm spending about 10 hours daily in Buddhist studies and maybe 2 hrs in meditation at the most. I feel it should be more like 6 hrs on each. But what do I know? I have no teacher. The monk at Blue Lotus Temple graciously answers my questions via email. But I don't like to bother him as I haven't even met him yet.
I wish that I could go on retreat and focus completely on my meditation with no distractions, but it's not possible financially. I use to think, I wish I had money for a big house, nice car, jewelry, clothes etc. Now I want none of that. If I had money I would give it all away except for the minimum I need to get by, which isn't much since I eat only one meal a day (before noon) and I care not for material things.
I become frustrated with myself during meditation because my mind wanders so easily. I know it's expected in a beginner, but nonetheless I lose patience with myself. I do see improvements and that is encouraging. I know that I will continue to improve. I will never give up. :)
I'm spending about 10 hours daily in Buddhist studies and maybe 2 hrs in meditation at the most. I feel it should be more like 6 hrs on each. But what do I know? I have no teacher. The monk at Blue Lotus Temple graciously answers my questions via email. But I don't like to bother him as I haven't even met him yet.
I wish that I could go on retreat and focus completely on my meditation with no distractions, but it's not possible financially. I use to think, I wish I had money for a big house, nice car, jewelry, clothes etc. Now I want none of that. If I had money I would give it all away except for the minimum I need to get by, which isn't much since I eat only one meal a day (before noon) and I care not for material things.
I become frustrated with myself during meditation because my mind wanders so easily. I know it's expected in a beginner, but nonetheless I lose patience with myself. I do see improvements and that is encouraging. I know that I will continue to improve. I will never give up. :)
Hi Mary,
ReplyDeleteWhat city do you live in? There are some places that are dana based where one can go for meditation. Las Vegas, Nevada has Chaiya monastery. California has Insight Retreat Center near Santa Cruz. West Virginia has Bhavana Society.
with friendliness,
Ayya Dipa