Mind games

Several times lately during meditation my hands and feet felt like they fell asleep. Like totally numb.

I move them and realize they aren't asleep at all. 

Is it some kind of trick my mind is playing on me to disturb my concentration or is it just natural during meditation?

Hmmm...?

Mourning the self

I had to return from retreat on the 1st day due to a family emergency, but I've been meditating at home as though I were still there.

During meditation yesterday I was thinking about the self and suddenly tears sprang to my eyes. I realized the tears were for the self. I was mourning. 

I was mourning the person I believed my self to be my whole life. I know that person doesn't exist.

 Ive always taken that voice inside my head to be me. I knew my body wasn't me, but I thought that voice I hear, that is surely me. What I thought of as me doesn't exist. It's an ever changing cyclone with nothing real or permanent in it.

It did feel like a moment of real understanding, real mourning.